Chapter 2- Out of Body Experience

Well, despite feeling like I haven't slept at all the past two nights because of this ridiculously times cold (sorry also to Jake whom I share a room with) it's a really good day today. I think that's what getting out and trying to live a life worth living will do for you.

I woke up this morning and had a grapefruit. I used to hate grapefruit. It took me a good 10 minutes to cut it up and finally enjoy it, but isn't it like that with most things? Grapefruit as an allegory for my life. Takes some time and effort to get to the good stuff.

Then I made up a song about Coffeemate that was just for me and my enjoyment and not for you so don't even ask me to write it down for you cause I'm not gonna do it.

Then I had the opportunity to coach my roommate for an audition he has for Hannah Montana. I really enjoyed helping him out and I think I am pretty good at the whole coaching thing.

I had lunch today with Jay Minor (my pastor and all around swell guy) and had a really great conversation about life. You ever start talking and really get on a roll and know that you're speaking from passion and directly from the heart and somewhere along the lines you start to float up out of your body and look down at yourself talking and the joy and the life spewing out of you and you just think to yourself "Yeah, that's who I am! That's the real me right there! I like that guy!" Well, I hope you do and soon.

I'm excited today because I am realizing that right now in this moment I have already been giving what I've set out to achieve. I am living a passionate life full of inspiration. I think we can lose that perspective more times than not by focusing on the goal instead of the journey. And it may seem a bit anticlimactic, but think about that, whenever you accomplish something or meet a goal isn't there inevitably a letdown afterword? A feeling of disappointment, of "What now"? And why? Because the goal really wasn't the goal in the first place but to live FOR that goal was the thing that made it worth it.

I think religion teaches us that getting to heaven is the ultimate goal. To be honest, that doesn't excite me, just getting to heaven. What excites me is continuing the journey in heaven with God by my side free from any let down or disappointment. In the meantime I want to find a little piece of that here where God has already promised that we can have life to the full and run after our desires.

By the way, thank you to those who responded to my email (and those of you who didn't write but are still rooting me on). It was an overwhelming surge of support and I hope my journey inspires you to do the same with your life. I'm not saying everyone quit their jobs! I just want for you the inspiration I am feeling right now.

I realize there may be a few of you who hopped on this blog without knowing the whole picture of what's going on. Ill post my email on this blog so you're in the loop.

Anyway, just bought a microphone to start voice over work and now I have to get repros of my headshots and also read my friends script and start planning ahead. Tonight, attending the first singles conference meeting. That's exciting! Stepping into my new role as Entertainment Director!

Thanks for reading this. I'm sure there will be days where I won't have this much to say

Squirrel! (Seriously, I looked out my window and there's a squirrel eating a nut on my fence)


Here's my email:

To my friends and family,

First of all, I want to to express to each and every one of you how much your support has meant to me over the years. Your belief in me and the potential you see in me has made my journey thus far possible. Thank you for your kind words your prayers and your help through an incredibly difficult path. I recognize everything I have been given as a blessing and a gift and I never want to take these things for granted. Through grace and open doors I have been able to pursue my passion and I am eternally grateful for that.

I have realized recently that while my life is good and blessed there is part of my heart right now that cries out to be seen and revealed. Our lives were designed to be lived to the full and we must push it to the limits and take it to new places to truly fulfill what we were created for.

I feel I am right now at the brink of one of those crossroads. A place where God is nudging me out on the ledge and telling me to jump and trust that He will catch me and help me soar. It is a very scary place, but one I am determined to face in courage. I have no idea where God will take me and honestly I'm not even quite sure where I want Him to take me. Maybe that is part of the journey. Regardless, I feel I'm being called into a new story.

I am writing specifically to you because I know the power of having people who believe in me have my back and pray and just simply know what I am up to. That being said here's whats up:

I have taken a hiatus from Starbucks mainly to shake myself out my comfort zone and leave me with no excuse to pursue goals that have been on my heart but for some reason or another have never achieved. I know this journey goes much deeper than reaching specific goals. It is a quest to find my heart, to live passionately and to embrace desire. In the end my only real desire to be closer to God and to recognize the glory that He has created in me. To that end, these are the things I desire to unashamedly and fearlessly pursue:

1. To be cast in a pilot this year

2. To book 3 guest starring speaking roles in television series. (My target shows are Fringe, Big Bang Theory and Lost (5 episodes left to cast))

3. To be cast as a lead in a film.

4. To book 2 national commercials.

5.To launch my Voice Over career.

6. To create a series of short films

7. To finish writing a number of songs that are in bits and pieces and record them.
8. To put together an outstanding production combining the talents of my church.
9. To travel to El Salvador and serve our sister church and community down there.
10. To learn the guitar
11.To act on stage again
12. Creating dynamic mentoring relationships with the preteens that I lead and to instil in them a belief of their true potential and glory


Some might say lofty ambitions, but what's the use in dreaming if you cant dream big? These are scary dreams and there will be times where I will start listening to the voices that say "You're crazy" or "There's no way you can pull that off". All the "reasonable"voices. It's those times when I need to remember that they are right... I AM crazy. That's what people love about me and that's what I love about myself. And there IS no way I can pull it off... on my own. I need help. No one is that strong on their own. So I will rely not on my own strength but on the strength of others and on the strength of God and whatever comes I will have known I have accomplished it in faith.

I truly, deeply love all of you and even if nothing comes from this I know I have your love. But I know SOMETHING will. And that's the exciting part. For my part, I believe in each of you. I believe that whatever dreams you have they are worth having and they are worth fighting for. Fight on! Let's fight together!

Okay, now for that scary SEND button...

Love
Brandon

PS Oh, just to make it even scarier, if you want you can follow my progress here: http://aheartawake.blogspot.com/