Yep, Swamps of Sadness. That pretty much sums it up. And really there wasn't much to be sad about. In fact quite the contrary. But when warfare is on it's on and the Enemy was throwing it at me hard yesterday. I went throught the gamut of emotions: loneliness, hopelessness, doubt, fear, envy, the works. I just felt like shutting down and sinking into the sludge. And I started to do just that. Things seemed beyond my reach and I felt incredibly overwhelmed. It's that paralyzing fear come back again.
Fortunately, I did not suffer the fate of Artex and instead decided to listen to the Atreyu in my life, which happens to be God. "You have to try. You have to care! For me, you're my friend, I love you.... You gotta move or you'll die!!" Alright, you may think this is incredibly cornball (my friend Tori doesn't call me Cornbread for nothing) but seriously let those words sink in as coming from our Maker. That's intense right there.
You have to move or you'll die. Can you relate to that? I can. I was telling someone the other day about the fact that I am in new territory here and I can deal with it in a couple of ways: sit around waiting for the conditions to be right or start moving and dealing with whatever comes as it comes. It's much easier to guide something that is in motion than something that is static. It comes down to simple physics. We are never fully ready for anything. Most things we do just need a little bit of momentum to get us going in the right direction. And every day is a new day that is in need of a little extra push. Kind of like rowing a rowboat.
What I know is that I desperately need the armor of God. It is a battle out there and I am not going down without a fight. I thank God for the army I surround myself with daily and the weapons God has given me to withstand the hordes and after everything has been hurled at me, to stand in his presence.
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